Things I Miss Since Becoming A Mummy.

Some people take motherhood in their stride, it's a role they were born to do & they'd never go back to their life pre-baby because everyday is wonderful. I hate to be THAT mother but jesus christ, there are some days where I would sell my left breast for just one day, or even half a day (beggars can't be choosers and all that) to go back to being 'pre-mummy' Rachael. I love Teddy more than anything in this universe, I really, really do. But there are some days where I sit and want to sob over all the things I took for granted before I had him. You don't realise all the things that will change as soon as you have a baby. They don't change gradually over time. It's instant. Like not being able to sneeze or cough without peeing yourself.
I'm not afraid to take one for the mama team & look back on all the things I miss since becoming a mother....

01. Solid Sleep- Oh sweet mary & joseph, do you remember the days of a solid sleep?! I'm not arsed about lie ins, sleeping in until 10 has never been my thing. What I am arsed about is being able to go to sleep at a reasonable hour & not waking up until the morning. One day guys, one day...

02. Leisurely Meals Out- Gone are the days of taking your sweet ass time at Nando's, now it's all about inhaling your food without chewing and if you time it wrongly, having to sit with your breast out. I'm sure the people at my local Nando's are fed up of seeing my tits. It's not like I get them out for shits & giggles, there's just something about the smell of chicken that clearly makes Teddy hungry.

03. Travelling Light- Not only does it take three hours to leave the house, you also have to take the whole fucking house with you! No longer are the essentials your phone, purse & door key. Oh no, they are now a number of nappies, wipes, numerous changes of clothes because your child is currently in the habit of thunder shitting and enough toys to open a toy shop, just for that extra two minutes distraction for your to inhale (as mentioned above) your chicken and mash that you've been craving all week.

04. Last Minute Plans- I can't tell you the amount of times i've been asked to go out, or to the pub by my friends and i've had to say no. Last minute plans just aren't an option for me anymore, I have to factor in the fact that Teddy is exclusively breastfed and i'll worry about whether he'll take his bottle, or the fact that they want to go out around his bedtime and he is fed to sleep by me, & i'd hate for him to be upset because I wasn't there. It's not my friends faults that they do things last minute, they don't have babies so I can't expect them to factor Teddy in when they are trying to make plans.

05. Spending My Days Off As I Want- There were someday's that I would spend my whole day off reading a book. I'd get myself comfy on the sofa & just get completely lost in a book and I know that one day i'll get that back again but for now it's trying to squeeze an hour in when he (eventually) goes to sleep, or reading on my kindle app whilst he has a feed during the day (do you know the STRUGGLE of trying to go on your phone & not drop it on your child's head?!). I also miss the times when I could catch up on my TV series or watch a film without the he-beast kicking off & demanding my attention, usually titties.. The bloody cheek! *I jest....ish*

06. Being Able To Pee At My Own Pace- I think I have peeing or pooping (we're all friends here, what's poop amongst friends?!) at speed down to a T! I think I have mastered the art of running upstairs, peeing, washing my hands and being back downstairs within 10 seconds. I swear my child could be fast asleep on the sofa and he can smell me exiting the vicinity. If I need to poop, jesus, I have to psych the kid up first, that mummy will be gone for roughly 30 seconds, because if anyone can poop in ten seconds..there is something fucking wrong with them.

07. Wearing What I Want- I miss being able to wear what I want, without worrying whether it has easy titty access, if it takes longer than two seconds to get a boob out, it's just no good. I never thought a small human child would dictate my wardrobe...

08. Non-Leaking Breasts- Because nothing screams motherhood like leaking nipples and breast pads. My boobs literally feel like they no longer belong to me. They belong to my 14lb he-beast. 

What Other Mummies Miss...

"Sleep! Not being puked on daily." Kassidy from Mummas Mayhem.

"Knowing what I wanted to happen next! Having a baby was always my plan, i'm not sure what to aim for now." Ami from Ami Elizabeth.

"Spontaneity and I mean the little things like popping out for midnight snacks from the 24hr Tesco." Becky from Becky's Boudoir

"Being spontaneous!" Sophie Liley from Sparkling Rose.

"Sleep,eating meals at the time I want, being able to leave the house in 5 minutes, spending whole days on the sofa" Lydia from @LydiaSparkles

"I miss going to the toilet when I needed to and alone...such easy days..." The Frugal Family

"Being able to have a shower/wee without singing Old Mcdonald and a load of other nursery rhymes" Charley from @Charley_Louise

"Freedom, silence, sleep, alone time as a couple. How easy and stress free everything was." Amy from Amy Antoinette.

"Being able to switch off. I don't think i'll stop worrying ever again. My brain is centred on her and everything else comes after." Toni from @ToniOnToast

"Being able to make spur of the moment plans - it feels like everything takes serious planning nowadays."Sascha from Beauty Geek UK

"The last minute trips to town, out for a meal/drink, shopping trip, night drinking, night away without much planning or prep needed." Mishmash from @mishmash_z

"I thought i'd miss sleep but now I just enjoy the naps I have during the day!" Amy from Amy Louise Kidd.